In honor of Sarah Laurel's recent arrival, here is the conclusion to my 10 tips for successful parenting:

7. Children can entertain themselves. "Quiet play time" after lunch, where the kids have to entertain themselves for an hour without grown-ups or TV sets, teaches them self-reliance and gives the grown-ups in the house a chance to recharge their batteries!

"Flatscreen" — TV, video and computer — is a double edged sword. On the one hand, it keeps kids occupied for a while. But it makes them ornery and upset. Keep control of what and how much they watch. The less the better. Putting kids in front of the TV to keep them occupied will only make them restless and uncooperative later in the day.

8. The punishment should fit the crime — and the situation!. The beauty of time outs is that they are used to modify the child's behavior before something has happened which requires punishment. But sometimes stronger measures are necessary, either as a threat to get the child to do what you want (when a time-out is not practical or not effective) or as a reaction to something serious that has already happened.

A consequence is a logical result of what happened before. A natural consequence is purely the result of the child's actions. She throws her pacifier in the river – the consequence is she doesn't have a pacifier any more... at least for a few hours. So having the punishment be a consequence builds the relationship between cause - what the child did - and effect - what the child has or does not have.

So whenever possible, the punishment should be a consequence, i.e. related to the crime: if the child watches TV without asking, this means no TV for the rest of the day. Taking something from the refrigerator without asking means no dessert, etc.

For a young child, the actual act of taking something away is the punishment. How long it goes away - whether for half and hour or half a week doesn't make much difference. So things should disappear only for a short period of time (if for no other reason so that they can be taken away again, later).

It's important to think about consequences in advance. Never threaten something that hurts you more than the child or something that the child could actually want. If you are visiting your best friend, how will your son react to "Be nice to your sister or we're going home"? It gives him control over the situation. If he calls you bluff, and if you don't go home, then he knows your threats are meaningless. If you say you are going to do something, you have to do it, no matter how much it hurts you.

9. Give a time out before you lose your temper - dealing with kids can be an emotional challenge. Giving a time out early, before you get upset, gives the child a chance to settle down and adjust his behavior. It also gives you a chance to settle down. If you wait until you're at the end of your rope, then you're angry and the time out becomes a punishment. The child is also much more worked up, and it takes longer to calm down.

10. Set your priorities: First: yourself! Second: your partnership, Third: Your children. Your children will always be there. If you put them above everything else, you risk losing your partnership and yourself.

My kid's pubertry is still beyond the horizon and thunderstorms are getting more intense every year, so I'm not going to claim ultimate wisdom, but these tips have worked for me and my family. Good luck, Kathryn and Sam. And Good Luck, Sarah Laurel!

Gentle reader, lest you think this is totally off topic, try replacing "parent" with "manager" and "children" with "employees." How many points still apply?